Lucy Wolf, Director
Growing up as one of Seattle's urban private school elites, Lucy has experienced enough hipster coffee shop cigarette smoke to last her at least the 4 years she will spend on the inferior (read: West=best) coast. Schooled predominantly in effective recycling and how to share, Lucy brings her wide range of skills to the Net monarchy as the Queen (Director). An extensive knowledge of country song lyrics and her cute-floppy-puppy demeanor drew Net to her, and vice versa. Her singular hope for the future is to raise dysfunctional Italian speaking children with Joseph Lawless.


Joseph Lawless, Producer
Socialized in a culture of spiked hair and flashy, tanned breasts, Joseph remembers his fondly years on the Island of Staten. He revels in the popularity of the land mass he calls home and has sworn to always kiss anything with a tape-up (tongue is always an option – please call if interested).  Raised at the knees of Mussolini-loving foreigners who availed to him the beauty of the Jersey Shore (before you liked it, he promises), he speaks dirty Italian constantly to his closest friends in vain, seductive efforts.  He has eaten more pasta than you, which is probably best in everyone’s opinion.  Fashion forward always, he has recently invented, designed, and exported (at surprisingly pleasant rates – frame the recession as a game of participation!) matching, sparking hood-thongs for him and his cure, Lucy Wolf. When they wear them, expect to catch your reflection in their cheeks.

Alex Pleet, Assistant Director
Hi, are you the public?...yeah it's nice to meet you too. It's my first time doing OKCupid so I'm a little nervous haha. Let me just start by telling you a little bit about myself, i guess...or should you go first? I guess it doesn't really matter. LOL, I'm having such a good time with you already...Okay I'll go first. I'm from Springfield, MA. I went to undergrad at Brown, but don't hold that against me. j/k LOL. I love people-watching and am rarely in the mood to be serious. My best friends, who you'll totally have to meet soon, would describe me as a "fire in the kitchen," if you know what I mean! lolololol. I currently go to UPenn medical school, but totally don't be freaked out by that. I'm not one of those super weirdo cut-throat grad school boys. hahaha. My last girlfriend cheated on me, so if this is going to be real, DON'T SCREW WITH ME! lolcatz. Frankly, I've been reading your profile everyday for the last week and I think we're perfect for each other...can you believe we both love tropical fish!? What are the odds? Kinda like 1 in 92 if you are only counting Penn students, lol. And I could totally get into rock climbing, so we could spend even more time together. Wait...where are you going...why are you leaving? We haven't even had our soup yet. I ordered your favorite - clam chowder.
Come back...OH I'M MAKING A SCENE!? YOU'RE MAKING A SCENE. YOU KNOW WHAT, I KNEW THIS WOULD NEVER WORK.

Jonah Meyerson
Jonah spent his formative years growing up in a quaint little town known as New York City. Praised far and wide for his renowned punctuality, Jonah was given not one, not two, but three graduation hat stickers for his near-perfect attendance in Mrs. Goldberg’s 2nd grade class. A compulsive liar, Jonah has excelled at everything he has ever attempted. Carly Simon once wrote a song about Jonah. Jonah is even set to co-star in "The Unofficial Bar Refaeli Sex Tape," though the project is currently in pre-production. Jonah first became interested in comedy when he told a joke to a girl on the playground. This joke was so funny that the girl immediately burst into tears of laughter. It was internal laughter. But external crying. And it was less of a joke and more of Jonah asking her out.

Faryn Pearl
In an alternate universe where everything was horribly, horribly inaccurate, Faryn Pearl was not raised in New Jersey, where she would not have grown up as a precocious theater and humanities geek in a cruel, mathematical world. She would not have come up with a brilliant plan to rig “Cash Cab”. She would not be a pocket-sized bundle of fun and joy and rainbows, would not have an unhealthy obsession with drag queens, would not give motivational speeches at 3 o’clock in the morning, and would certainly not enjoy pina coladas while getting caught in the rain. She would not gorge herself on strawberries like a malnourished guinea pig. She would be Ellen Page. This universe is such a drag.

Natalie Riemer
Natalie hails from the land of big hair, rodeos, and longhorn cattle. That's right, she's texan y'all! Well sort of...her family is actually from Boston and she was born there and lived there till she was 10, but no big deal because she has accepted the status of southern. She also seriously wishes that she could live in a film from the Lauren Bacall Era...How to marry a millionaire for instance. She did all kinds of musicals growing up where everyone starts singing the same song and doing the same dance at exactly the same time. She was a radio Disney DJ...so basically her life was High School Musical minus Troy Bolton and perfect hair 24/7. When dreams of fame and riches didn't work out in LA (not that she ever went to LA or tried) she decided to come to Wharton and learn to make money in a much faster and dirtier way. Come on. You have to admit Charlie Sheen in Wall Street was sexy...I wonder if he knew he was on his way to "winning" way back then! She absolutely loves these Without a Net comedy clowns and is so honored to create magic every night. And now a preview of her acceptance speech at the oscars...."Uh [a few whimpers] Uh [tears break out into a little laugh] Thank you to the academy, thank you mom for telling me all men can't be trusted, thank you Dad for being a man I could trust, thank you NETTERS for making me laugh twice a week while attending the toughest school known to man...you were my solace"

Gabriel Jimenez
Gabriel hails from the clean air and fresh landscape of the Los Angeles suburbs (no not the valley -__-).  With parents from Puerto Rico and Mexico, Gabnel is happy to identify as a Mexirican to provide token cultural diversity to Net’s otherwise bland existence. Although this little stint in Net is just a stepping stone until Gabnel can reach his full potential by dominating the gospel choir music industry. One can dream, right? *He apologizes to all of his hallmates for the quad shower blues resonating from the bathroom at awkward moments in the day.* When Gabnel is not chugging beer kegs, swooning lovely ladies, and getting his swoll’ on at Pottruck, he tries to fit in a couple hours of Glee and Sing-off episodes or sporcle sessions. If only the first three didn't take up all his time? In summation, Gabnel is seemingly enthralled to be a part of Net and hopes that one day his flyering skills will match that of Faryn. Seriously you have to see her in action!

Caroline Claflin (On sabbatical: Spring 2012)
Caroline Claflin was born Caroline Alice Claflin in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania in the first month of 1987.  She was then swept away to Massachusetts, where she lived until the age of 18. Although she doesn't remember seeing the city of Harrisburg, Caroline imagines it is something like Oz or the rugged mountains of Wyoming. 
Caroline--an only child--was given free reign over all of the stuffed animals, afternoon tv programming, and food on the bottom half of the refrigerator without competition or protest.  Her social skills lacking, Caroline enjoyed staying at home after school and drawing.  At age 7, her favorite things to draw were dragons and cats in dresses.  At 25, she prefers drawing large lumpy animals that resemble middle-aged men and people in improperly-fitted clothing. 
When she was 7, her ideal occupations included paleontologist, grave digger, and animator.
At 17, Caroline first tasted an egg.
At 22, she graduated from the Rhode Island School of Design with a BFA in Animation.
At 24, she began her MFA at UPenn (woop woop shout it loud 2013)
She currently lives with her boyfriend, Alex Pleet (see above) and her real boyfriend, their cat Teddy Roosevelt.
She has still not yet dug a grave or discovered a dinosaur.