The club owns board games and sports equipment which PennPals can borrow! In order to do so, email Melanie Hullings, hullings@seas.upenn.edu, our activities coordinator. Indicate whether you want board games or sports equipment and you may pick them up at our weekly board meeting (she will let you know the time and location).

When I call my pal’s house, nobody picks up.
Try calling three or four times in one day, especially on weekday evenings. The children generally get home from school around 3:30, and you can try again around 6:00 and 8:30. Still no luck? Try calling throughout the day on Saturday and Sunday. Persistence has never failed a determined Pal!

When I called my pal’s house, it said their phone was disconnected.
Let the PennPals director know ASAP. We will contact the school to get that child’s new phone number.

My pal didn’t show up at our meeting place, and when I called the parent, they said they forgot/couldn’t make it/didn’t want their child going out.
We strongly recommend that you call the house the day before your meetings to confirm that your plans are still on. If this still happens, remind the parent of what they committed to at the beginning of the year: that they would facilitate the relationship between you and their child by making sure all arranged meetings took place. You should also request that they let you know ahead of time when they have to cancel. If the parent is reluctant to let the child go out, you can put him/her in touch with the school guidance counselor, Diane Johnson, who can be reached through the Drew School (215-823-8204). You should also let your board liaison know what’s going on, and we will do everything we can to make sure the relationship works out! You might also want to arrange a meeting with all three of you—maybe you could all get ice cream and sit down and talk so that the parent has a chance to get to know you.

I feel uncomfortable walking my Pal home after our activities.
You should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. There are several solutions to this problem:
• Arrange for the parent to pick the child up at a halfway point, like Fresh Grocer.
• Try to find Penn students with pals who live nearby, and coordinate your meetings to end at the same time so that you can walk your Pals home together.
• Use 898-RIDE in the evenings
• Take SEPTA or a cab. With our treasurer’s prior approval, we may reimburse you for up to $5 of your cab fare if you have to bring your pal home after dark and none of the other options are viable. We will always reimburse SEPTA.

I can’t come to the event, or I have to come late. Can someone else take my pal in my place?
The goal of PennPals is for you to spend time one-on-one with your pal. While the events are a lot of fun for the kids, they are meant to facilitate the relationship between you and your pal by giving you a comfortable, fun setting in which to spend time together. So, if you cannot come to an event, we ask that you do NOT try to find a surrogate for your pal. Just arrange another time that week to visit together! If you have class or another commitment and must come late, let your board liaison know and we will try to arrange a way for your pal to get there. You can also just meet your pal when you are able to, and you can come late together.

My pal is always asking me to buy things, and I can’t say no!
It can be extremely difficult saying “no” to a child, but—just like any child you babysit or spend time with—your Pal needs to hear it sometimes! If your pal is often asking for snacks, make sure he/she eats before leaving home. It is not your responsibility to feed your Pal, and if you genuinely feel he/she is not getting enough to eat on a day-to-day basis, please discuss this with your board liaison.
If your pal asks for toys, candy, etc, respond as you would with any other child. If you feel inclined to buy your pal a birthday present, you may. But in general, do not give your Pal the impression that you are an open wallet. Once you get in the habit of setting strict limits and guidelines, your Pal will stop asking! If your pal sees that you are firm and strong, he/she may even build more respect for you and come to see you as a responsible presence in his/her life. If a parent ever asks you to spend money on the child, do not hesitate to say no, and please contact your board liaison. Remember: you are a friend and role model, and that is an important boundary to keep!

My pal is moving. Can I get a new pal, or should I try to keep in contact with this one?
If your pal will no longer be attending the Drew School, you may be matched a new pal if you wish. Please contact your board liaison. If your pal is moving but staying at Drew, please let your board liaison know so that we can update his/her information.

Can my Pal’s siblings come along to the events?
In general, we like for you to spend time one-on-one with your pal so that you can focus on him/her. If your pal’s sister or brother would like a PennPal of their own, please download the form from the website and have the parent fill it out and sign it for each child. You can return this to any board member. The earlier this gets done, the better! Within a couple weeks the child will be matched with his/her own PennPal. Until then, you can bring siblings along only if this form has been filled out and returned to the PennPals board. If your Pal’s sibling does have a PennPal but he/she is not able to make it to the event, you may bring the sibling along if you wish.

Can my Pal’s parents come along to the events?
Your Pal’s parents/guardians are invited to our first event of the year. After that, please contact your board liaison if your Pal’s parent would like to accompany you. In general, we discourage parents from coming to events, as it does not provide the one-on-one setting between you and your pal that will be most helpful in building that relationship. Note that if parents do come to events like ice skating they must pay their own admissions fee.